My failed submission to the 53 word story contest

The prompt for Spetember was:

Are you ready? Picture this: your fingers in place over the keys, the blank-page backdrop is waiting for your story. What words will you collect there? Do you already know what you want to write? Will it follow the rules? Which way will all the words flow? It’s time to put them down.

Write a 53-word story about a set

My submission to the 53 word story contest:

WISHING THAT IT TAKES LONGER TO OPEN THE DOOR by Madhu Mohan

Waiting to relieve our feet from the shoes

Huddling, joking, giggling and alive

Fast-food takeaway waiting to be savored

The jangling of dad’s set of keys

Never being able to find the right one

Phone torches go on

Feels like hours but it’s barely seconds

It’s just the four of us

Forever long

Was one of the obvious problems, is that it sounds like a poem instead of a story?

Anyways, let you me know what you think, in the comments.